


Heavy Dirty Soul

by Blondie600



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:02:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4483889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600/pseuds/Blondie600
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kissing a guy to steal his wallet is never the best idea but when that same guy turns out to be one of your best friends boss, you know you're in a lot of shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

One of the un spoken rules of what I do is avoid all possible contact with the person who’s wallet you’re trying to steal. Make it as quick and smooth and so gentle it’ll just feel like you’re brushing past them.

And you definitely shouldn’t kiss them.

So what am I doing?

Kissing some random dude who I nearly had but he noticed me last minute. So, like in all situations where you’re about to get caught and sent down for 3 years, I kiss the guy full on the lips and then run. Run as fast as my stupidly small legs can carry me.

“You took your time.” Takahiro, one of my best friends says as I burst into the shabby flat we share with our other friend Issei who also happens to be Takahiro’s boyfriend.

“I… nearly… got… caught…” I pant, flopping down on the sofa and trying to concentrate on getting my breathing level.

“And how did you not get caught?”

“I kissed him.”

“Nice.”

“That wasn’t the response I was expecting.” I wheeze, looking at him in shock

“Well, it’s nice of you to finally get some action.” He shrugs, his fingers flying over the keyboard of his laptop as he talks.

“Please tell me you’re not hacking into the police’s system again.” I sigh, digging into my pockets and pulling out several wallets before lining them up on the coffee table. Takahiro just smirks and I roll my eyes before pushing off the sofa and going to get a drink of water.

“I’m just making sure we’re still in the clear.” He insists as he taps away

“You’re wasted doing this you know that don’t you?”

“Well, we could all be in better situations but society hates us so we’re kinda stuck.” He shrugs, finally stopping typing and turning his attention to me “I mean, you could be a professional volleyball player, Issei could be a highly successful artist and I could work for MI5 and yet here we are.”

“You’re so negative.”

“No, I’m realistic.” He retorts, raising an eyebrow at me as I sit back down beside him.

“I guess.”

“Was he hot?”

“Who?”

“The guy you made out with! Was he hot?”

“Seriously? You’re not concerned that I broke one of our codes? You’re more interested in whether the guy was hot or not?” I ask in exasperation

“Which ones his?” Takahiro asks, gesturing to the wallets in front of us

“That one.” I reply, pointing to the Gucci wallet right in front of me. He leans over and picks it up, opens it and pulls out a wad of cash which he places on the table and then shows me the rows of credit cards neatly slotted inside.

“Dude, he’s fucking loaded!” He laughs, pulling out the cards one by one and neatly stacking them in a pile “You should have got his number while you were at it.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, can you empty the other ones please?”

“Of course.”

We sit in silence as we empty the 5 wallets I managed to grab on my way back from work today and end up with a large stack of cards and a pretty decent wad of cash. I’m counting it up when the front door opens and the third member of our little gang crashes into the flat and falls face first onto the sofa on top of Takahiro and I.

“Afternoon.” I snigger, pushing his stupidly long legs so his knees aren’t digging into my stomach

“Urgh.”

“Nice to see you too babe.” Takahiro snorts, running a hand through his hair gently

“That’s a nice lotta cash you’ve got there.” Issei hums, looking over at the coffee table sleepily

“Isnt it! Haijime kissed a guy to get most of it.”

“Could you repeat that please?” Issei deadpans, rolling off of us and sitting cross legged on the floor

“He kissed someone like, an actual full on snog.”

“PLEASE never say snog again.” I grunt, kicking Takahiro who just laughs at my discomfort “And I didn’t kiss him that much actually.”

“You must have kissed him pretty damn hard if you managed to knick his wallet in the process.” Issei points out, raising an eyebrow at me

“Yeah well, no… I… shut up I’m leaving.” I huff, pushing myself off the sofa as they laugh and moving into my room.

I wish I’d let the guy keep his stupid wallet.

//////

“I don’t like parties”

“You don’t like anything Haijime but you’re not getting out of this now come on.” Takahiro huffs, straightening the collar of his shirt as he checks his appearance in the mirror

“But it’s gunna be full of annoying posh people.”

“It’s a fucking art gallery opening what did you expect, you’ve got to come and support Issei anyway so quit whining.” He points out

“Fiiine, let’s just go before I change my mind.”  I grumble, opening the door and heading out into the corridor.

We ride the train into the centre of town and then walk a short distance to a fancy art gallery and hand the huge doorman our tickets. He double checks them very unsubtly, obviously not sure a guy with two full sleeves of tattoos and another with his ears and lip pierced would be allowed into such a prestigious venue but he lets us in after checking our tickets for a third time and we’re immediately surrounded by immaculately dressed people.

“I didn’t realised it was fucking black tie.” I mumble as several men pass us in full on suits

“Meh who cares.” Takahiro shrugs in reply, grabbing two glasses of champagne from a passion waiter and handing me one before downing his own “Let’s go find Issei.”

We move through the crowds of people slowly, occasionally stopping to admire some of the amazing work before we see our tall friend talking to a very good looking guy in a nice, navy blue suit.

“You’re here! I was beginning to think you’d bailed on me.” Issei laughs, hugging me and then kissing Takahiro’s cheek

“Of course not babe! I wouldn’t miss it for the world! Haijime however…”

“That doesn’t surprise me!” Issei laughs “Oh guys, this is Oikawa Tooru, the guy who chose my stuff to be featured in the gallery! Tooru this is my boyfriend Takahiro and my best friend Haijime!” He adds, introducing us and as I look at the guy properly for the first time I feel a lump rise in my throat. Oh. Shit.

“Nice to meet you both!” The guy says, smiling dazzlingly at us “I’m loving the whole punk look you’re both going for.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?” Takahiro asks, scrunching his eyebrows together and glaring at the guy who instantly waves his hands around in shock

“No no no! I was being sincere I swear!” He insists, smiling at us again before noticing the empty glass in my hand “Ah, let me go get us all some new drinks!” And with that he’s off.

“We have to get out of here now.” I scream whisper

“Why?” Issei asks, looking at me like I’ve gone mad

“That’s the guy, you know, the one I kissed earlier in order to steal his damn wallet.”

“WHAT?” They both yell, several people throw us dirty looks so I smile apologetically and whack them both on the back of the head

“I’m serious, I wouldn’t forget his face.” I sigh, running a hand through my hair in frustration

“Fuck, shit, crap oh my god.” Issei whines, chewing on his bottom lip as he stares blankly into the distance “You have to give it back.”

“And say what? Oh hey sorry but when I kissed you earlier today I ‘accidentally’ took your wallet out your pocket so here’s it back have a nice day?”

“No, you could just slip it back into his pocket somehow.” Takahiro retorts, rolling his eyes at me “Ask him on a date.”

“WHY?”

“Gives you an excuse to see him again and give it back!” He shrugs, rubbing circles on Issei’s back as he continues to stare blankly into space “Tell him you liked the jacket he was wearing when you met him and then slip it back into his pocket! Simple!”

“I… Oh for fucks sake fine! I’ll do it! But this is for you Issei.” I huff “You owe me.”

He just nods in response then snaps out of his little trance as Tooru comes back over to us holding four drinks. He hands them out and then as he gives me mine he stops and looks at me with his head tilted to one side

“Have we met before?”

“I… Yeah I um, I kinda kissed you earlier.” I mumble; blushing slightly as Takahiro gives me a thumbs up over Tooru’s shoulder.

“Oh my god that was you! I don’t remember you being so attractive!” He exclaims, smiling at me in shock “Nice to properly meet you! Why did you kiss me?”

“I… Well I… I thought you were cute and I was trying to get my um… my number in your pocket but you turned like you were gunna catch me and I panicked and yeah.” I stammer, avoiding his eyes and feeling myself blush.

“Oh my god that’s adorable.” The guy literally squeals and I look up at him in shock, what did he just say? “You have to let me take you out to dinner! Look here’s my number, send me a text and we’ll arrange a time and place!” He adds excitedly, handing me a creamy coloured card before smiling at me again and then pretty much spinning off through the crowds of people.

“Did that just happen?”

“You just got a date with my mega rich, super posh sponsor because you stole his fuckin wallet.” Issei hisses, looking mildly disturbed as he watched Tooru chatting to some women “And I thought he was straight.”

“Seriously? You’re so dense sometimes.” Takahiro snorts “He was sending you major heart eyes before we got here and then he was pretty much drooling over Haijime here so yeah, he’s gay as fuck.”

“This is fucked up.” I whisper

“Yeah, majorly fucked up.” Issei sighs rubbing his eyes gently “Just make sure he gets it back okay and that he doesn’t suspect anything. Because if he does I won’t hesitate to murder you with your own scary ear spike.”

“Says the guy with huge holes in his ears.” I mutter “Also thanks mate.” I add rolling my eyes at him before turning round and looking at the painting on the wall behind him “Now, show us which ones of these are yours.”

//////////

“Good luck son!”

“Stay safe and use protection!”

“Don’t encourage him to sleep with him Takahiro that’s not part of the plan!” Issei splutters, hitting his boyfriend on the back of the head as I head out the door

“Shut up!” I yell before slamming the door behind me and heading to the lift. I can feel Tooru’s wallet burning a hole in my pocket and I honestly want to turn back and forget everything that happened.

This sucks.

I make my way to the train station and ride a few stops before getting off in the fancy part of town for the second time this week and following Tooru’s emoji filled directions to a quaint restaurant. I spot him stood outside and to my relief he is wearing the same jacket he was when I stole his damn wallet and got into this mess.

“Haijime! You’re here!” He grins, advancing towards me and pulling me into a hug. It startles me but thankfully I had my hands in my pocket so, I pull the wallet out with me and slip it back into his pocket as I move to hug him back. He actually smells really good.

“Come on! I’ve got a table reserved! I hope you’re hungry!”


	2. Chapter 2

“So, what do you do for a living?” Tooru asks, sipping from his wine glass elegantly. I’m yet to drink any of mine because 1- I hate wine and 2- I feel incredibly out of place here. This restaurant is very fancy and expensive as shit so I’ve ordered the cheapest things on the menu and it’s still coming to more than we spend on food in a week.  
“Ur...” How the fuck do you answer that? “I coach a local volleyball team on the weekends but otherwise I’m currently un employed.” Well, it’s not a lie.  
“Really? That’s awful! How come you can’t find a job?” He asks, I can’t quite tell if the concern in his voice is genuine or not.  
“Not many people want to hire a 23 year old with no college degree apparently.” I shrug, leaning back in my chair and raising an eyebrow at him “I was going to go to college on a sports scholarship but shit went down so that all fell through and I’ve been unemployed ever since.”   
“What sport?”  
“Volleyball obviously.”  
“That’s awful! Why did it fall through?” He asks, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands  
“Family stuff.”  
“I can tell that’s the best answer I’m going to get.” He almost sighs, tipping his head to the side and looking at me   
“You got that right. What about you? You’re obviously rolling in it.” I state, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him intently  
“Well I wouldn’t go that far…”  
“Dude, you just spend £30 on a glass of wine? I rarely spend that on a meal let alone a glass of fucking grape shit.”  
“Well I think it’s good to treat yourself every once in a while, maybe you should try it sometime.” He retorts, frowning at me “Anyway, I’m the curator of the gallery Issei’s paintings are being shown in as well as being the heir to the Oikawa industry.”  
“Oh yeah, I should have realised that earlier.” I grunt in reply. The Oikawa’s own a huge chain of shopping centre’s all across the country and are worth billions of pounds but hilariously the sole heir of the entire company is currently on a ‘date’ with little old me. This is hilarious.  
“Yep, it’s both a blessing and a curse.” He says quietly, still studying me intently “I think I can help you out.”  
“You…What?” I stammer, turning my full attention to the guy sat across from me whom I barely know and have stolen his wallet but seems to be offering me money like I’m some sort of charity case?  
“I can help you! You could come wo…”  
“I don’t need your money!” I spit, anger boiling up inside of me “I already had it but I gave it back to you out of the kindness of my heart and to save my best friends ass and now we’re sat here in this piss awful restaurant and you’re trying to make me into some sort of fucking charity case?”  
“What do you mean you already had it?” He asks, looking at me in obvious confusion  
“Doesn’t matter, but I don’t want to be your fucking charity case okay. You can take your money and shove it up your fucking ass.” I snap, standing up from my chair and turning on my heels “Good fucking night.” And with that, I storm out of the restaurant and into the torrential rain.  
Fucking brilliant.   
///////////////  
“You look like you had fun!” Takahiro snorts as I storm into the bar we usually hang out at, soaking wet and probably looking like I want to murder everyone.  
“God was it that bad? He’s alright once you get to know him I…” Issei insists, waving to Kyoutani, the bar tender, to get me a towel   
“He fucking offered me money.”  
“Say’ again.” He splutters; throwing the towel at me after Kyoutani passes it to him  
“He offered me money like I’m some sort of fucking charity case or something!”  
“That’s out of order I mean, we maybe kinda poor but that’s just rude?” Takahiro frowns “What gives him the right to do that?”   
“He’s just being nice I swear! I bet you blew up at him didn’t you.” Issei sighs  
“Who’s this?” Kyoutani asks as he slides a beer at me across the bar  
“Oikawa Tooru.” I reply, nodding in thanks for the beer as I take a long sip  
“Oh I know him, Yahaba works for him.”  
“I’m sorry did you just say Yahaba as in, your boyfriend Yahaba works for the very incarnation of satan himself?” I ask, looking at him in shock “You can’t be serious?”  
“Haijime don’t be so fucking rude.” Issei huffs  
“Yeah, what his face offered him a job when he saw him at the food bank a couple months ago.” Kyoutani shrugs “He was pissed at first but it’s certainly been helpful.”  
“I can’t imagine Yahaba pissed.” Takahiro mumbles thoughtfully  
“Well… I don’t know it just… it pissed me off okay!” I stammer, glaring round at all of them indignantly.  
“Because you fancy him right?”  
“Excuse me?” I spit, wheeling round and staring at Takahiro   
“You fancy him, therefore you don’t want to accept his offer because if you did, you’d feel like you weren’t equal partners and that you were just taking money from him. I know how your mind works Haijime.” He shrugs, sipping from his beer through a straw and looking me straight in the eyes.  
“I… no?”  
“Yes.”  
“He’s right you know, I didn’t think of it like that but he’s right.” Issei agrees  
“No way!” I splutter, looking at them both like they’ve gone mad but my stomach twists uncomfortably at the truth in their words “Like I would fancy some stuck up twat.”  
They both just look at me incredulously and I slump my head down on the bar with a sigh  
“I hate you both did you know that?”  
“Love you too dude.” Takahiro laughs, clapping me on the back as he slides onto the stool next to me “Now, are you coming home or can we go have sex?”  
“Really?” Issei spits, whacking him round the head   
“Go do whatever the hell you want, I’m going to stay here and wallow in my self-pity.” I state, waving my hand at them absently and with that they’re gone.  
I sit on my stool for about 10 minutes, staring at the wood of the bar and then I feel a hand on my shoulder and shoot up ready to punch someone but see none other than fucking Tooru stood behind me.  
“I thought I find you here.” He sighs, hopping up beside me and resting his elbow on the bar, chin on his hand “I didn’t mean to offend you.”  
“Well you did a very good job at it.”  
“I’m being serious! I just wanted to help you because if you carry on the way you are, you’re going to end up in jail sooner or later.”   
“You what?” I splutter, finally turning to gawp at him   
“I know you stole my wallet Haijime.”  
“How…?”  
“Well, seeing as it disappeared from my pocket after you kissed me and then returned when I met you earlier, it wasn’t that hard to figure out. Plus you basically told me when you were shouting at me.” He shurgs “Plus I’ve seen Issei do it a couple times to people who are rude about his work.”  
“I…”  
“Do you only do it to posh people?”  
“Well yeah, it’s against our code to steal from someone who isn’t rich and won’t miss a bit of cash.” I shrug “I’d rather not do it but it helps get us by.”  
Tooru looks at me almost sadly and I could feel anger boiling up inside of me again  
“I don’t want your pity.”  
“I’m not going to give it to you. Instead I’m going to give you a nudge in the right direction.” He replies “Meet me on Saturday at the stadium across town at 11 and maybe I’ll be able to help you.” He adds, smiling at me gently before pushing himself off the bar stool, kissing my cheek and sauntering out the bar.   
My cheek feels hot where his lips had been and I slam my head back onto the bar with a groan.  
“Looks like I owe Takahiro a tenner.” Kyoutani muses, smirking at me as I look up at him. I growl at him before slapping down some money and practically running out of the bar.  
I am well and truly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long oops  
> Writers block s u c k s  
> I'll try and update soon but I'm not promising anything :')  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> G o d  
> This took me 3 attempts to get right ffs  
> I've got major writers block atm so I hope this isn't too horrific  
> I just really wanted to write an IwaOi ok


End file.
